Depression Kills Ben x Gwen
by 1TRU5TN01
Summary: What happens if Ben struggles to escape a depression that even he can’t handle? Ben x Gwen No Lemons No fighting (but will transform to an alien.)
1. I

**I - Amazed**

"Ben! Hurry up! We have to go, can you wait outside instead? Your father and I will be late! It's nearly sunset!" Sandra, his mother, told him as she and Carl are getting ready for their own vacation. "For the last time mom, I don't want to spend my own vacation break with them anymore!" Ben complained, even though he already got his suitcases ready. "Come on now, son. You're about to be 18 in a few months! Be more mature." His father told him. "I can be mature!" Ben exclaimed. Ben's parents paused for a moment, gazing at each other before sighing. "Here's the deal, if you won't fight your cousin for the whole summer, we'll let you decide on what you're going to do next year's vacation break." His father told him. _I bet they have been planning this for a long time._ Ben thought.

"Also, we've been worried about you. You've been distant towards us and your friends, and I hope this year's summer can fix that." Added his mother. Ben stopped moving for a second. And he actually started to think logically for the first time in ages. _This can be hard. I can't survive a day being nice to her._ Ben sighed. "Well?" Both of his parents were waiting for an answer. "Deal." He agreed, instantly regretting it. "I'll let your grandfather know about this, and also, don't tell Gwen about this or you won't have your freedom." His father warned him. Ben nodded, giving an annoyed sigh beforehand.

After locking the door, his parents quickly gave him a hug before getting inside their car. "Take care! And don't forget our agreement." His father warned him. They closed the car window, and started to drive away. _I hate life._ Ben started to mentally talk to himself. _I don't even want to strive! Giving out my efforts—specially to her?!_ Ben started to glare on the ground. _I just want my own freedom, I have a car and everything so why don't they trust me? Is it because of what happened at school?_

A few minutes has passed by, there was still no sign of the RV. Ben started to get impatient, but he didn't want to show it. He felt like his parents are stalking him secretly. _Actually, if the RV doesn't come, no summer with them! Ha! I love myself._ Ben smiled mischievously. _I don't think I can do that aswell. Maybe I should just stop acting like a kid._ As Ben started to keep thinking, he didn't realized the RV has arrived. "Hey Ben!" Max waved, but he noticed Ben didn't move. He was only staring at the grass. "Ben?" Max went out and walked a little closer.

"Oh hey grandpa Max! It's so good to see you. I apologize for my behavior back there, I was starting to like thinking." Ben said a little too quickly, sweat coming down his forehead. "I already know about the agreement, Ben. That's why I took long, I was answering your father's call." Max smirked. Ben stood there, humiliated. "I'm sorry, I just want my own privacy for once. Like staying at home, playing video games all day long." Ben started to be honest. "I understand kiddo, but that's not healthy for you." Max said as he helped Ben carry his heavy suitcase. "Also, let's make another agreement." Max started to get Ben's attention. Seriously? I don't want another deal.

"What is it?"

"Can you throw away these books for me tomorrow when we arrived at my friend's hotel?" Max showed him a box filled with old dusty books. "Sure? But what's the agreement in this?" Ben asked going inside the RV alone, dropping the suitcases and carefully hid the books under the dining table. Max smiled, "I want you to impress their granddaughter by atleast reading one book." Ben sighed sadly once again."That's it? But what's in it for me?" "You get to choose the next destination." Max said, getting inside the RV aswell.

"Deal." Both of them smiled.

"And by the way, I like the idea of your parents' agreement." Max teased as he started to drive. "Oh come on!" Ben whined, he realized what he did and he facepalmed himself.

* * *

They have finally arrived at Gwen's house. Since no one was outside, Ben decided to get out of the RV, walked slowly till he reached the door and knocked loud, but not hard. after a few seconds, he heard footsteps from the other side. As it opened Ben wanted to be 'mature' and decided to greet both his uncle and aunt. "Good evening Aun-" As he was going to show the world what he can do, he saw a girl with a red long sleeve and a polo inside it, black skirt just right above the knees, dark translucent leggings matching with black heels. He stared at the girl whom was grinning, Gwen. She, herself, was looking forward to go around many places this summer, and right now, it just started. Gwen noticed him standing there like some statue but ignored it anyways.

"Hey Ben!" She gave him a warm hug. "H-Hey. . . Gwen." He stammered. _What is wrong with me? Quick! Do something mature!_ "Let me carry your suitcases for you." He broke the hug and smiled at her as he carried her suitcases. _This seems working, and it's pretty light._ Ben was starting to like the deal, it's easy, very well-controlled of him to do. "Woah! are you alright?" Gwen joked. "Very funny."He rolled his eyes. "Where are your parents?" Ben questioned, looking behind Gwen. "Oh! They aren't here, they have to go elsewhere." She said as she locked the door and placed the key inside her right pocket.

"Oh? Well then let's-" Ben was cut of as Max was behind him, waving at Gwen. "How is my lovely granddaughter?" Max hugged her tight. Ben decided to go inside to put down the suitcases. "Well, I see you've changed." Gwen said behind him. "Well, not really, life's been plain and dry for the past couple of months." Ben stepped aside to let his grandfather to go in and drive. "Really?" Gwen was astounded. "Yeah, I guess you could say life's been horrible." He sat down at the dining area, looking at the window as the sun was starting to fade away.

Gwen was astounded. She never saw Ben this sad. Usually he could care less about the world and only think of himself, but this time, he was just. . . different to her. She kept staring at her until Ben accidentally kicked something underneath the table. _It's those books that grandpa told me to read!_ Ben carefully took it out again and open it. "Let's see. . . Something to smile about. . . Kokology. . . Light Novels. . . Connect the Stars. . ." Ben read the titles but one caught his attention. "Connect the Stars? Sounds like a good book." Ben started to talk to himself again, before reading the book, of course. Gwen just stood there, wondering what the world did to Ben. Ben noticed her reaction and decided to be nice enough to say something. "You should go at sit there or here, besides you need rest." Ben said pointing to the opposite chair but then patted the space next to him afterwards. "S-Sure." Gwen stammered. _What happened to him?_ She thought as she sat beside him.

* * *

10 pm

"Ben, go hit the shower and sleep." Max told Ben as he parked on the side of the somewhat endless road. "Sure, but I'm not going to sleep." Ben said as he stood up to get some clothes and a towel. "What? Why?" Max asked. "Because I don't want to." Ben admitted. Max just sighed and nodded, afterwards, Max went out the RV to call Ben's Parents.

While Max was busy with that, Ben removed his shirt as he opened the bathroom that made a loud creak noise. To his surprise, he sees a silhouette of a naked girl behind the blinds. Gwen passed the other side of the curtain with just a towel covering her body. Ben just stood there as the two cousins eyes' met. Ben finally moved, blushing beforehand and loudly shut the door close. "I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, sitting at the table again, pretending not to notice her go outside the bathroom. Gwen was just as red as he was, this time she was in a bathrobe. "I'm so sorry, you can kill me now! I just thought you were asleep and-" He was cut off. "I-It's fine." Gwen told him. "You don't have to panic, I thought the. . . door was l-locked anyways." She stammered. It was then silent for 10 minutes."I'll have to admit, I'm still uncomfortable about this." Ben broke the dead atmosphere. "You should go change now." He told her as he walked pass by her, but one thing caught her eye. She didn't know why she never noticed it earlier, but it was just there, suddenly popping out infront of her face.

"Ben, what's that huge bandage sticking around your chest?" Gwen asked. Ben just froze. He know he couldn't respond so he just ignored her forced her to go outside the bathroom. Just as Gwen was going to ask Ben properly, Max went inside. "Ben your parents told me- Oh Hey, Gwen." Max smiled. "You should go and properly dress up." Max added. She just nodded and went to her and her cousin's room to were a night gown. Once she was done, she went to go and talk to Max. "Grandpa, I just saw Ben's back, with a huge bandage." Gwen was deeply concerned. "I haven't seen it yet, he said he was going to stay up all night so you can either talk to him now or tomorrow." Max smiled. "Tomorrow it is then." Gwen smiled back as she went back to their room. "Night grandpa!" Gwen exclaimed and Max also said it afterwards.


	2. II

**II - Awakening**

Ben went outside the shower with only a tight black boxer to cover his body. He saw his grandfather sleeping so he decided to silently sneak to his room. He went to grab a black shirt and gray shorts, seeing Gwen with her eyes closed, she must've been asleep by now. He locked the door he decided to wear his clothes behind a wardrobe and decided to go to bed aswell. _What the hell am I doing? I was supposed to stay up all night!_ He looked grumpy, and groaned but silently. _Maybe I should turn off the lights? Probably not._

After 30 minutes, he still couldn't sleep. _Come on Ben! It's been a long time since you've slept properly._ What happened to Ben, anyways?

 _ **FLASHBACK**_ _ **-**_ **A** **Month Ago:** At school..

"Hey Ben!" Said Roy, a random classmate of his. "Uh, Hi?" Ben said before taking a sip at his smoothie. "Your cousin was at the bleachers with some emo kid." He told Ben. "Oh, you mean Kevin? Yeah they've been dating for almost a month now." Ben said as they both walked to the cafeteria. "Aren't you gonna do something like I dunno beat the guy?" Roy said as they grabbed lunch. "What? and as much as I want to kick some ass, I have no reason to. Especially someone Gwen loves." Ben looked at Roy with no idea why he would say something so foolish. "I think you have a good reason to do it now alright." Interrupted Damon, another random classmate that just popped out of nowhere. Ben still didn't understand the two guys so he sat on a table to eat instead. "Dude, just look and listen to us for once." Damon said as Roy and him sat with Ben.

Ben groaned. "Fine, what is it?" Roy just pointed behind him. Ben's eyes went to look at something. Kevin was talking to Julie and a Cheerleader, doing a smooch sign. _Is he flirting? No, no, this isn't any of your business. But why Julie of all people?_ Ben took a picture, Kevin and a cheerleader close to each other. "They're just friends." Ben told them. "You are so dense sometimes, you know that?" Damon sighed. "Yeah, I know. I need to go somewhere." Ben ran out of the cafeteria and ran to the library. He looked at some bookshelves until he saw Gwen. "Gwen? I know this isn't any of my bizz and I'm probably wrong as always, I'm not trying to hurt you or anything but you gotta see this." Ben was about to regret this because he knows how sensitive and how fast Gwen can get emotional especially about Kevin. But he still showed Gwen a picture from earlier.

"No, I'm not trying to ruin your relationship or your life, but after he tried to kill you, he's been a douche." Ben told her. Gwen just stood there, looking down. She was trembling. _I knew it! I'm the real douche here. Agh, next time I'lll just keep my mouth shut._ Ben became very concerned. "I-I'm sorry." Ben told her. "It's okay." She said. "You're not, let's go, you'll have to talk to him." He grabbed her hand forcefully but not tightly and they walked away the library, trying to find Kevin. Through Ben's perspective, he felt wet, hot tears fall to his hand, a girl, shaking, not knowing what to do. "Hey now, maybe it's a misunderstanding, I'm a douche aswell, afterall." Ben smirked as he heard a soft gigglle. _She'll be fine for now, I'm really sorry Gwen._

* * *

"Forgive me, will ya?" Kevin held Gwen's hands. Ben stood about loads of centimeters away from them, but heard the conversation loud and clear. Gwen nodded as she kissed Kevin softly. Ben smiled, knowing everything was fine was enough for him to know. A tap from a shoulder was what he was encountering, looking behind him was some of Kevin's buddies. "Follow me, Tennyson." One of them said. Ben just nodded and they went inside a classroom. One of the shorter member was grabbing a fire extinguisher. "What the heck are you doing?" Ben was walking backwards but Kevin's friends blocked him. He knows what was going to happen next, he looked back the the short guy and abusively, intensely hit Ben's chest. Worse part is, hit by the extinguisher's head, the iron part. "Next time, you just keep your mouth shut." The short guy exclaimed. They continued to do it until his his shirt was torn, one of them grabbed a blade writing something on Ben's chest.

 _ **FLASHBACK ENDS**_

Ben's eyes were widely opened, gasping while he quickly sat down, heavily breathing. He kept thinking and dreaming about this over and over and over again. He froze for a moment, one tear shed down. He touched his right cheek, where the tear was falling. He covered his right eye with his right hand while the other was about to just pull his hair off. He broke down, crying was more hard, he started to groan. _What did I do wrong?_ Many thoughts came to his head as he silently whimpered in pain. "I don't want to. . .think of this anymore. . . But I just. . ." Both of his hands ran through his hair. Ben finally reached his limit. "Can't!" He exclaimed, forgetting he was in the RV, forgetting both his grandfather and cousin was sleeping. The way he shouted echoed, loud enough for even birds to hear it and flew away.

Gwen was awaken by this, she looked at his cousin who was crying. She stared at him with worry in his eyes. But before she could say something their grandfather Max knocked at the door. "Kids are you two alright?!" Max shouted. "E-Everything's f-f-fine! I ju-just had a nightm-mare!" Ben shouted. _Why is he lying about this?_ "Okay son! I'm going to sleep now!" They both heard the footsteps that became loud to quiet. Ben sighed. "I can't let them know about this. No matter how much I need to." He punched himself at the temple of his head over and over. As he was about to hit his chest, a hand grabbed his wrist, making him silently gasp. "What do you think you are doing Ben?!" Gwen looked at him in the eye.

Ben looked back towards her, eyes was big, mouth was half open, tears were still shedding down. He closed his eyes once more, turning his head to the left. ". . .Go-A-Away!" He stuttered. He didn't feel her move but instead, a warm embrace is what he received. "Get away." He whispered. This just made Gwen hugged him more tightly. He broke the hug and stood up. "Just rest, okay?" Ben told her. "What is going on?" She asked. "If I wanted you to know, then I would've done it earlier." He said coldly. He looked away from her, still sobbing. His own eyes were red because of crying. Realizing this, realizing his mistakes, realizing his immaturity he turned back towards her. "I'm sorry. . . f-f-or saying that, I'll be fine." He told her with the best smile he could do. Gwen looked at him, silently she ran back to him and buried her face on his neck. "You idiot, you're going to tell me tomorrow, alright?" She said. "I can't promise you but alright." Ben said, resting his chin on her head.


	3. III

**III - Affections**

Ben sat at the same area, the table. Just reading another book, but something was bothering him. His bandages and the situation earlier. He ignored the second one, he ignored the 'promise' he gave. He went back to the room, seeing Gwen with her book. They looked at each other's eye for a moment, but Ben went to one of his bags, grabbing a bandage. "What's that?" Gwen barely noticed what he took because Ben hid it behind him quickly. _Well, busted. I guess there's no reason to lie at her._ Ben hesitated but showed her afterwards. Gwen looked with disappointment for a second, she sighed aswell but she gave him a soft smile signing that everything is and will be okay. "Here, let me help you with it." She stood up showing her hand out. Ben smiled at her as he gave her the bandage. _This is the humiliating part._ Ben blushed as he removed his black shirt. He was shaking, he didn't want to show her his wounds.

But he had to. No matter how much he didn't. "I'll take them off for you, so atleast you won't be scared anymore." Gwen told him with a soft smile. Ben smiled back, but this just made him more afraid. He closed his eyes while it was getting removed, he heard a gasp. _There we go, I'm in deep trouble._ Ben felt like Gwen was covering her mouth with one hand as the other dropped the used bandage. Ben's back was badly beaten with something hard and sharp, while his front was covered with a carved word, 'WEAK'. He half-turned at her, seeing her left eye was shedding a tear."Now you really have to tell me what happened." Gwen told him."It's nothing, okay? Just some stupid alien action I did a few weeks ago." Ben lied, he looked at somewhere else. "I know you're lying, I've always been helping you with alien, there's now way it'll be from tha-"

Gwen wasn't able to finish her sentence. Ben cut her off."Maybe it was because you've been hanging out too much with your boyfriend that you weren't able to know what I've been doing for the past few months." He said angrily but he didn't shout. He was too depressed to do anything wrong. He was too sad to get mad at her. Gwen's eyes widened, but she knows he was indeed, certainly correct. Ben noticed how shocked she was so he apologized."I'm sorry 'kay? It's true it wasn't about the aliens battles, it's true I've been handling something rough, but it's still confidential." Ben told her softly. Gwen nodded."What's confidential?" Gwen asked. "My wounds." He replied.

Ben received a warm and tight hug from his cousin. "You're not weak okay? Remember that." She said as she kept her face burried on his shoulder. ". . .I know." He stuttered. _I don't even know if that's true._ "Come on, let's get you fixed." She said as she grabbed the bandage that was on the floor lying with other used ones. Ben nodded and sat on his bed. Gwen went behind him as she opened her legs, Ben in between them. They both blushed, but they didn't have a choice. Gwen grabbed the alcohol and some cottons balls that was formerly beside Ben's bedside table. She dropped one droplet of alcohol on Ben's dry wound. Ben closed his eyes but didn't move. "Th-hat. . . s-s-s-stings." He stammered as he gently grabbed Gwen's legs. "Of course it does, silly. I'm disinfecting the wounds." She blushed once again as Ben wrapped her legs onto his warm, hard waist. Gwen just figured it was the best thing she can do for him since he is suffering from this so she wrapped her legs tightly until he stopped shaking.

 _I wonder when he'll tell me what or who did this._ She kept thinking some many things until she heard a small groan. She realized what it was so she quickly finished disinfecting his wounds on his back. "Sorry about that." Gwen laughed at herself in embarrassment. "That's fine." He replied. "Now for the front part." He said nervously. She, on the other hand, was nervous aswell. She stood up and went infront of him. But one thing complicates the situation much more. How does she position herself? She can't do it on his sides, that'll give them a stiff neck. She can't obviously do it behind. She can't just bend herself down infront of him she'll get tired with that humiliating position. If they both stood up it'll be hard for Ben to get comfortable. They both can't win. She sighed. _What am I going to do? He'll get in much more pain since I haven't covered his wounds quick enough._ Ben looked at her confusedly."Is everything okay, Gwen?" He really didn't have a clue why she was like this. "I don't how to perfectly position myself in a comfortable way for the both of us." She said quietly, but it was loud enough for Ben to hear.

"I know a way, but it's pointless." He told her. "What is it then? It's not pointless, it's for you anyways." She said. Ben felt blood rushing to his face, causing a crimson shade to enlighten. He closed his eyes as he patted his lap. Gwen saw this and she blushed aswell. "I told you i-it was p-pointless." He stuttered. "It's fine Ben, it's for you." She tried to cheer him up. _No it's not fine, this is embarrassing._ She slowly sat on his lap as she was still trembling. "We can stop you know, you're kinda quivering." Ben gently told her. "I insist." She said bravely, wrapping her legs around his waist once again as she dropped mini droplets again. Ben trembled, he tried not to hold behind her back since it was pretty much inappropriate, but he failed miserably. As Gwen was lightly pushed into him, he removed his arms around her. "S-Sorry, it just stings. . . a-alot." He apologized. "It's a-alright." She stuttered.

 **After Some Moments (Around Midnight)**

Gwen finally did her goal, she yawned. "Thanks Gwen, you can sleep now." Ben said as he wore his black shirt back, covering his well built but wounded corded muscles. Gwen mentally groaned in sadness but distracted her. "Aren't you going to sleep?" She asked. For some reason the warmth of their bodies hugging each other earlier made her think differently on Ben. She never felt so comfortable so. . . home like with Kevin. She wanted Ben to stay. Him and Him only. "I can't sleep. Not anymore, It's what you call insomnia, you barely get sleep." He said. "Well, I'm not going to sleep aswell." She didn't know why on earth she said that, Ben didn't aswell. "You. Need. Some. Sleep." Ben said. "I won't." She said as she stood infront of the air conditioner, blowing her nightgown. Ben can see through it but looked back at her face. He sighed. "Suit yourself." He replied as he turned back at her to open the door. "Where are you going?" She asked. "I'm going back to the table to read some books, hoping some grumpy, stubborn lady goes back to her bed to sleep." He said. "I'm coming with you." Gwen said. He didn't argue back since he had no choice anyways.

* * *

"Oh wow, you made this table your mini sanctuary, huh?" She commented after she saw the table with a cup of coffee that was barely drank, a lamp, a thin blanket with some comforter and probably some books that are read earlier. "Perhaps I did." Ben said as he sat next to the window that was closed and covered by window blinds. He started reading a Fantasy book called Tombquest by Michael Northrop. He looked at Gwen who was still surprised by all this change that happened to him. "Well don't just stand there." He said as he patted the space next to him. Gwen nodded and sat next to him. Ben quickly covered both of them with a thin blanket and a comforter afterwards. Both of them blushed but not as much as Ben. He didn't know why on earth he did that. But if Gwen ever asked he'll just say that he did it because she'll get cold.

After a while, Ben was halfway through the book as he saw Gwen's head falling on the other side of her perspective, he quickly dropped the book and thankfully caught Gwen. "Wake up, sleepyhead." Ben giggled. He picked up his book losing what page he was at but that didn't matter, he covered themselves with the blankets as they both blushed once again. But this time Ben wrapped his left arm around her waist. Gwen wanted to see what he was reading so she leaned on his strong shoulder. "Comfy, sleepy princess?" Ben chuckled as he looked at Gwen's emerald eyes. She nodded as she slowly drifted off to sleep. Ben didn't move so he won't wake her up, both of them were comfortable. Ben happily went back to his book, leaving the night with a warm smile.


	4. IV

**IV - Attachment**

About an hour has passed ever since Gwen insisted to help Ben to heal his long lasting wounds. She kept waking up from time to time, looking at Ben whom sometimes steals glances at her. It came to the point when Ben started to play with her hair, Gwen didn't think it was creepy, it actually felt comfortable, she felt so safe, she felt so home. Ben on the other hand, noticed she was struggling to sleep, that's why he was playing with her hair. It actually worked, Ben was proud of himself for accomplishing something. Both of them had a wonderful and peaceful night.

* * *

Gwen woke up, finding herself leaning in the window. The window blinds was hanging up, signing it was open. She looked around while half-asleep, she saw Ben near the oven making some scrambled eggs. "You can cook?" Gwen teased. Ben looked at her with a reassuring smile. "Good morning sleepyhead, it's the only thing that I can make aside from bacon." Ben admitted, a little embarrassed. He was literally turning 18 and doesn't even know anything about cooking. "Well, that's better than nothing, where's grandpa?" Gwen asked. "He's outside calling someone, probably his old buddy, Mr. Green." Ben replied as he served 2 plates, spoons and forks. He also let Gwen choose how much scrambled egg she wanted to take. "Want some coffee?" Ben asked. "Mhmm." Was all Gwen could say, her mouth _is_ full anyways. Ben brewed two coffee, one was hot and the other was warm. "You still don't like hot drinks, huh?" Gwen realized he hadn't change some good features about him. What can I say? Change is constant after all. Although, Gwen is still curious how he could just change very quickly.

"So, what made you get interested in reading books? I remember almost 8 years ago you were pretending to be asleep just so you can skip studying." Gwen giggled. "A new hobby, I guess." Ben chuckled at himself. "Really now?" Gwen replied, Ben just nodded as he continued eating. _Maybe he did change. Or maybe it was because of his wounds. Wait, is it? Did he wanted to change because someone was being violent to him?_ "I have a question Ben, A serious one." Gwen lifted his chin so he can answer him without any hesitation. "Go on." He said as he swallowed the last piece of egg so he can clearly focus and listen to her. "Are you lying to me, again?" Gwen asked. Ben took a moment to think, he was wondering why she cares so much. _Why do you want to know? aren't you satisfied to have Kevin? So why do you have to barge in my life aswell?_ Ben couldn't say that, it would be rude and immature. "Yes, I am." Ben said with all honesty. "And why would you do that?" She asked. But before Ben could answer, Max came inside with an excited expression on his face.

"Good news kids! You'll have a sleepover in a hotel." Max said as he went to the driver's seat. "What? When, why?" Ben asked. "Yeah, right now because Wes said so." Max happily grinned. "Alright." Said Ben as he grabbed some clothes to take a bath. "Ben." Gwen called him. He slowly turned around before going inside the bathroom. "Yeah?" He asked. Gwen leaned in, whispering something to his ear."I'm still going to ask you why you lied, so don't even think you're out of this problem." Ben just looked at her boredly. "Okay." He entered the bathroom. And for some reason, he just didn't care about it. _Maybe I have changed, but why is it any of her business? She only cares deeply about Kevin, right? So why ruin my life? This is so annoying._ He groaned.

* * *

As Ben went outside the bathroom with a new black shirt, Max was infront of him. "You're not going to wear that, kiddo. I'm just going to pay for the gas and when I come back, I want you to wear a _formal attire._ " Max warned Ben by showing his phone with Ben's parent's phone number in it. Ben's eyes widened but nodded, he glared at Max behind his back and silently groaned. He went to his room, and saw Gwen reaching for something on top of her shelf. Too bad, she wasn't tall enough. "Let me help." Ben grabbed something, a small fabric inside an open bag. wondered what it was so he removed what it was he looked at it clearly. It was pink and he realized what it was. _A woman's underwear. What the heck! I touched it! I touched it! What am I going to do now?!_ Gwen was just embarrassed as he was, so she grabbed it from his hand as quick as possible. She sprinted out of the room.". . .Thanks though!" He heard a shout.

Ben smacked his head one the wall. _I am an idiot._ He is, isn't he? _Let's just choose me a 'formal attire.'_ He growled as he thought of it, just thinking about it makes him want to vomit. _Gwen's right. Some things never change._ Ben went to his drawer, looking at his shirts. "Why does all of my shirt have 10 in it?" He asked himself. _I should really change this._ He sighed as he looked furthermore inside. _Black shirt with 10. . . White shirt with 10. . . Argh! This is so annoying!_ "How can any of this be formal?!" He groaned.

After a while, he saw something in the end of the drawer. "Aha!" He grinned, cheerfully proud of his little accomplishment. "Is this formal? Maybe I should look it on a book." Again, he talked to himself and grabbed one of Gwen's fashion tips book. _A long white business polo. Do I have one of those?_ Ben groaned once again. He looked at the floor, filled with his shirts. "I found one!" He exclaimed and wore it. "But it's literally summer." He realized. _I'll just wear a this white polo and a green vest I guess._ "This is definitely not my style." He sighed. He decided to just wear it with matching black pants, with some shoes.

He placed Gwen's book back to where it belongs and he felt like something is missing. "Black Coffee!" He remembered. "Haven't took a sip in almost like forever." He added. _Why am I talking to myself?_ He sighed. _I should've just disagreed to the deal. Life would've been so much easier._ He went outside his room and saw Max with groceries. "But I thought you were just going to pay for the gas?" Ben asked. "Yes, but I realized we don't have a lot of food so I bought more. "Do you have coffee there?" Ben asked. "No, I don't." Max told Ben. "Oh." He sighed. "I'm just going to grab my wallet and buy myself some then." Ben said as he went back inside the room, trying to find his wallet. "I'll clean this later I guess."

* * *

Ben has just finished buying all the things he needed and proceeded to wait in line with his basket filled with noodles, soda, cream, black coffee and sugar."Have you heard? Many aliens have been attacking our planet more and more often." Said some girl in front of Ben. "Yeah, but a hero named Ben Ten, well if I am correct, saves us anyways." Another said while looking at her new polished nails. _Ugh, another one of these types of people? The Gossipers?_ Ben thought as he mentally rolled his eyes.

"Well, there's this redhead that is always with him, also a guy that turns to stone."

"I think the girl is lucky to have Ben." _That's not true._

"Who cares about her? She's just a backup." _She's not just a back up!_

"Rumors said they're dating and Ben is the third wheel." _Well, I guess that one is true. . ._

"Duh, I'd rather choose the black haired one than Ben." _But, I'm the one who literally saves everyone!_

"I think Ben is pretty cute." _Thank you. Finally someone has a good taste._

"The girl's name is actually Gwen, well, that's what they said." _Yep._

"Yeah, but she's a whore." _Wait what? How?_

"What?" _I know right._

"They say she's a prostitute." _Stop. it._

"His sidekick is probably a slut for having two fine men." _That's it._

Ben had enough of this conversation. Two girls about his age were probably going to start a rumor. "I hate to break it to the two of you, but Gwen is not a whore, slut and will never be a prostitute." Ben held the two of them by the shoulder after dropping is basket. "And who are you to interrupt _our_ conversation?" Said by one of them with a sassy tone. "I'm Ben Tennyson." They looked at him closely, probably not recognizing him for the type of clothing he was wearing but they were too shock to focus on that. "Next time you gossip or start a rumor, you better know the whole story. Because the next freaking time we meet and I see you doing this again, I'll make sure you two will be the real prostitute. And that's not enough, I'll make sure you two get called as sluts and whores. Do you two understand?" He said glaring at both of them, tightening his grip at the two of them. Many elder people looked at Ben, not because he was abusing the two but instead, supporting him.

The two girls just nodded and let Ben go first in line so he can go back to the RV. But before he exited the convenience store, he smiled at the two girls. Mouthing 'Remember it.' And then he left.

* * *

As Ben went inside the RV, he saw Gwen using her laptop to Skype with Kevin on the video with his buddies. Ben sighed and placed his 'treasure' inside a cabinet, separating the noodles in the cabinet then the soda, sugar and cream was placed in the fridge. Gwen noticed Ben finally came back. "Hey, Ben! Say hi to Kevin." She happily grinned as she showed the screen on Ben's perspective. He saw Kevin and his buddies threatening him, some sliding their fingers across their tattooed neck, others did a fist sign and Kevin mouthing something he couldn't tell. "Hey." Ben greeted, looking at them very bored. "Hey Tennyson! Want to experience something nice?" Kevin evilly grinned. "What do you mean by that?" Ben said, preparing a black coffee. "Ooh! Kevin's going to stay overnight at us next week!" Gwen said turning the laptop back at her, this time the gang buddies were not on the screen anymore but she didn't mind.

"Really? How am I not surprise? Woohoo. . .!" Ben replied sarcastically, although for some reason, he _really_ wasn't surprised. Gwen noticed this but she decided to ask him later instead. "Yeah! Anyways Kevin gotta go, bye, love you." She said as she ended it, not caring for his respond back. She sighed, looking at Ben putting cream on his warm coffee. "Okay mister. sit in front of me and tell me what's wrong." Gwen demanded. "And don't forget our conversation before." She added. Ben sighed and decided to tell her. "I lied because why would you even care about my life? It's not like it's your business right?" He took long to say it, but he did it anyways. _Are you happy now?_ He drank his coffee, not looking at her astounded expression. Well, he did afterwards but he looked like he didn't care anymore.

"What's wrong with you? You weren't like this before! Those wounds, these changes, now this?!" She glared at him. "Temper now, Max will hear this." He said boredly. "Ben, tell me." Gwen glared once more. "Cause I'm a fucking mess inside, okay?!" He lied again. It was the first time she ever heard him curse but it was out of the topic. "Don't lie to me." She said. "Whatever, I'm out." Ben stood up, placing the cup on the sink and went to his room, slamming the door hard.

After a few moment, Gwen grew sick of his stubborn attitude, she kept thinking it was because of someone. Someone who is bullying him at school. She gave him a few more minutes before going inside the room aswell. "Ben, I'm sorry about earlier." She apologized as she sat on the his bed. She looked at him as he was glaring at the ceiling, leaning more on the car wall. "Whatever." Gwen tightened her grip on the blanket after that rude respond. "Why do you hate me so much? You weren't like this last night!" She exclaimed, earning a soulless stare from him. "You're being too attached. You're caring too much, and for me, I think that's stupid. Especially bad."

"How is caring for someone special to me bad?" She asked. "You're just curious." He doubted her. "What do you mean?" She queried again. "I know you don't care, there's a difference between caring and curiosity." He said standing up, not showing his face which was about to explode a huge amount of tears. _Why can't you just leave me alone? I'm so sick of you blindly hurting me!_ "Don't you like what we had last night?" She stood up as well. There was no response this time. _Believe me, I really do. But you don't care anyways._ "Can you just give me some space?" He pleaded. "Fine. But later I probably can't ask you like this anymore since Uncle Wes' invited us." For once, Ben smiled at Max's friends' invites.

He said something he won't forget any sooner, _"That's pretty much good news to me."_


	5. V

**V - Accidents**

. . .

"Thank you sir, your room will be on the 3rd floor, room 17 and 18." The receptionist said as she gave Max the room key cards. He handed out one for Gwen and they waited for Ben to show up, after all, Ben _did insist_ about carrying the luggage. "Hey kiddo, let's seat over there and talk about Ben." Max, whom broke the silence and lead Gwen the way. They sat on two very comfortable black sofa for four people. Max sat across Gwen but looked around just in case Ben was at the scene before hand. "Well? What about him?" Max asked. "Well, he has changed. He was so nice and. . . comforting last night but just this morning up until lunch he was acting so. . . rude." She wrapped her arms around herself like she's feeling cold. She couldn't tell Max about the way she healed Ben's wound, that'll make Max call both of their parents.

Max was staring at her blankly, as if he doubted her. But he didn't, at his perspective, it was probably because of the deal Ben's parents did. But it wasn't. "I thought you said something about his wounds?" Max eagerly changed the subject. Oh God, Gwen never thought Max will remember because of. . . well his age. "I-I. . . He has a huge wound, look at it yourself when he comes." She stammered. Just as Gwen was about to talk furthermore about Ben, a waiter came to them with Ben behind him. "Sorry for taking long, I needed help cause I was uh. . . getting wea- I had a. . . My b-back hurts." He lied, he didn't want to mention the word 'WEAK'. He sighed, making Max and Gwen noticed, worriying more about him.

* * *

"Is there more I can do for you, sir's and ma'am?" The waiter asked. "This is enough, thanks." Ben smiled at him as he was about to go to room 17. "Hold up Ben. ... You're staying with Gwen at that room." Max told him, pointing at room 18. "What?!" Ben was astounded, so was Gwen, but she silently reacted instead. "Wes is sleeping in my room, since I reserved for a two beds bedroom." Max said. Ben sighed. "Fine, whatever." Ben looked at Gwen's hand, waiting for her to open the room. "Well? Open it, I'm the one who's getting tired here." He said pointing at the things he was carrying. "Well, why did you bring so much?" She fought back, opening the door.

Ben didn't want to argue, it'll be useless anyways. "Fine, I'm sorry alright? My chest was just hurting again." He started being open to her again. He went inside seeing one bed. "Oh, uh. I thought there were two beds?" Gwen asked Ben. "I don't know." He shrugged. "You're being you again." Gwen told him. "What?"He looked at her confusingly but he turned away to place down some things. "I don't know what's happening to you, but I hope you stay as open and as temper-free like this for a while." She said, lying at her bed. Ben grabbed a soda from one of the plastic bags and started to drink it. "Are you even listening?" Gwen sat up looking at Ben who was in front of her bed. "I am, can you close your eyes?" Ben whispered, leaning closer so she will hear it clearly. "W-Why. . .?" She stuttered. "Just do it." Said Ben.

Gwen was nervous, she did but she heart something was getting removed. _Is he removing his clothes?!_ Gwen's blood was boiling, not because she was mad, but instead, because she was flustered. The blood caused itself to rush. She wasn't or never will be ready for something like this. Or in fact, she was never ready to do it. "W-What are you doing?" She asked, her eyes still closed. She felt him lean closer, "Keep c-closing your eyes." He whispered. Gwen didn't listen this time, she saw this polo that has blood drips on it. "But your wounds were dry last night!" She panicked, rushing to get some bandage. "It happens sometimes." He admitted. "May I?" She pointed down to his lap.

He looked somewhere else, nodding. She sat on his lap once again, using a wet cloth to remove the blood. "I'm giving you 30 minutes." She said, glaring at him. "What do you mean?" He asked. "Tell me everything or I won't help you." She replied. He sighed lifting her by the back and legs. He carried her bridal style and he gently lay her down. He was on top of her for a second, she looked at him in the eyes but he broke it. "What are you doing?" She questioned. "Healing these wounds by myself." He sounded grumpy as he hurriedly wrap bandages around. "It's not even cleaned yet! What if you get an infection?!" She exclaimed. "It was just cleaned less than 24 hours, okay?" He said calmly. Putting the bloody polo before the green vest.

She pushed him to the bed, removing the top clothing. "Stop it!" He said. "Atleast change the polo!" She glared at him. He couldn't fight back at this time, she was correct, like always. Instead of getting mad, he smiled. For once, proud someone cares about him. "Fine." He went to an unopened luggage and decided to find another formal attire. "You confuse me sometimes." Gwen said walking up to him. "I know." He said as he found a new polo. "I still don't get why I have to wear one but you don't!" He said kicking his luggage, some clothes flew away. "You have a tuxedo?!" Gwen laughed hilariously.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" He said picking up the clothes putting it back in the luggage. "Nothing, really. But for some reason, I like this new you." She grinned. "You're being way too nice, what type of favor do you want now?" Ben sighed. "Tell me everything." She replied. Ben sighed, grabbing the same box filled with old books, he dug inside trying to find a perfect book for Gwen to read. "Here, have this." He said handing out a book about depression, insomnia and emptiness. "What's this for?" Gwen asked. "I just think you need it, so go a head and read it." He said as he grabbed his book. He sat down on a comfortable couch which was beside the beds, he realized it was too hot even if the room is air-conditioned. "Where's the remote?" Ben asked. Gwen didn't respond. He looked at her, she seems so focused on the book Ben gave for her. "Nevermind." He sighed, going back at his book again. He realized he _still_ hasn't changed his polo, he then took a quick glance at Gwen whom seemed like was very interested on the book he recommended. Ben sighed, he thought Gwen was smart but at this situation was dense. _There's no point of telling her about Kevin and I._ Ben started to feel hopeless, still upset how Gwen didn't notice all the clues he gave out. The nightmare he had, the nice him when Gwen slept with him on the table and this book about his current mental state, but none of them were a clear clue for Gwen to notice that he really isn't fine. Or perhaps Ben was too stubborn and Gwen is just trying to avoid another pointless argument between them.

 _Enough about me!_ He thought. _She would never care about me when I'm like this._ He stared back at her once more, thinking how nice and happy it was when youth was still there. But Ben knew well that it was too late. He stood up with his polo and went on a corner where Gwen can't see him removing his bloody polo. As he removed it, he struggled to move. He was unable to unbutton it because his hands were to tired. He constantly grunted when he did it, now for the hard part: his arms. His arms won't probably be able to move that much, it's not because of his weak body, but it was too tired. Besides, he hasn't slept properly in months.

Gwen, on the opposite side of the room, can hear his grunts clearly. She felt bad for trying to make _him_ feel bad. She tried to avoid him when he asked for the remote, but felt the guiltiness consume her in an instant. She watched him carefully, proud that he was finally able to unbutton the polo. Although, she saw him frown before trying to remove the open polo from his body. Gwen knew Ben wouldn't probably ask her, not because of his pride, but because of her avoidance. He grunted again, this grunt made Gwen to unable to ignore him anymore. She had enough of her 'immaturity'. "Ben?" She called her cousin, but no response. She waited for him to say anything, almost giving up. "Hm?" Ben turned away from her, embarrassed of his situation. "Need a hand?" she asked. She saw him stare on his left. "I need a new body." He jested, making Gwen laugh before walking towards him. "You're such a dork." she laughed once more. Ben didn't know what to respond, so he just smiled. "This is going to hurt a little bit, but don't worry, I'll do my best to ease the pain as quick as I can later." Gwen warned Ben, all he did to respond was a nod. "Okay, then." Gwen walked infront of him then slightly removed it. She had to kneel down so Ben doesn't have to raise his arms, which made it a rather. . . unpleasant scene for the both of them.

She then started to grab the polo from his hand and then knelt down to put in in his arms, standing up straight and started to button his polo again. Ben stared at her in amazement. _Another reason why._ He smiled until Gwen noticed. He began to sweat while panicking. "S-Sorry." He stuttered embarrassingly, taking a look somewhere else. Gwen just thought it was fine, she wanted to say it was fine. But curiosity came first. Why did he stare all lovey-dovey at her? "It's fine, really." She smiled. Ben stared at her again, relieved at what she did. Ben picked his green vest, handing it to Gwen. As Gwen was about to kneel down, she saw Ben trying to raise his arms as if he was about to hug her. "Ben, you shouldn't have." Gwen said after she finished helping him. "It's the best thing I can do." He said sitting on the couch. Smiling that the pain of his body was slowly fading. "Thank you, though." He smiled. "You're welcome."

* * *

"Gwen! Ben! It's nice to see you again." Wes greeted the two cousin as they walked to their reserved table. Ben, on his white polo, green vest and black slacks. Gwen on her green, glittery dress. "Nice to see you again too, Uncle Wes." Ben raised his hand before Wes decided to shake it. "Ah! This is Kai, my granddaughter." Wes said proudly, stepping aside to Kai could show up. Ben stared at her, gawking as her blue long dress reflected the light coming from the chandelier above them. "H-Hi, I'm Ben. and, um, this is Gwen." Ben stuttered. Kai giggled, "Nice to meet you both." She smiled. On Ben's perspective, other than smiling like an idiot, he felt his body relaxed. He was relaxed, it felt nice and he loved it. All he wants to do now, other than talking awkwardly with the two elder buddies, was to impress Kai, and if possible, make a move. But what about Gwen? Is this how fast Ben's feelings disappeared? Whatever the reason was, Ben just wanted the awkward conversations to end, even though it hasn't started yet. He wasn't good in socializing, and he thinks he never will be.

Everytime he remembers about bragging that he was a hero because of his omnitrix, he feels it's cringe-worthy and quite rather embarrassing. Back to the dinner, they sat in a reserved round table. Ben was in the middle on Gwen and Wes, Wes' left was Kai and Kai's left was Max. Before sitting, Ben pulled out the chair for Gwen, did the same to Kai. "He's changed alot, hasn't he?" Wes watched Ben in amazement and seeing Kai thanking him before proceeding back to his seat. "He has." Max smiled. "Since when? I still remember those days when he couldn't even dance." Wes laughed. Ben just gave a shy smile. _I hate family reunions. Or whatever this is._ "He just changed this school year, right Ben?" Max called. "Ah! Yeah. That's how I knew that gramps has the best grandchild." Ben awkwardly joked. To his surprise, Max, Wes, and even Kai laughed. Gwen and Ben just glanced at each other, not knowing Ben was this funny.

"I see that too." Wes laughed once more. Although, he got caught in the moment of laughing to much that he started to slap his lap. Worse, Ben's back, hard. This caused Ben to unwillingly lean forward, and cough something: blood. This made his eyes become wide open, hearing gasps from the whole family. _Shit._ Ben stared at them, his vision in a haze. "Ben, are you alright?" Gwen grab him by the shoulder to make him face her. ". . ine." Ben said too quietly. "What?" Gwen leaning more to him. "Let's to back to the room, I'll be fine." Ben replied. "He needs rest, he hasn't slept properly." Gwen just awkwardly laughed it off, wrapping her body around Ben's arm. "I'll help you-just so I can apologize." wes stood up, wrapping himself around Ben's other arm.

"Is he alright?" Kai walked behind them, following them as they walked back to his room. ". . . I'm fine." Ben made sure they won't get worried, so he forced himself to stand straight to make it easier for them. "Ben, you'll get tired." Gwen looked at him, hearing him panting. "It's okay, we're almost there anyways." He laughed it off. But Gwen grew more concern for him. _You shouldn't laugh at yourself._ Gwen thought. But Gwen did swore that tonight will be the night she will know his secret, even if it means losing what they currently have. But what do they have? They're certainly cousins, that's all they know. But the night when she knew about Ben's wound, was there ever something more? _Enough of this silly scenarios!_ She said in her head, mentally. _There won't be anything to ever interfere with our relationship. . . right?_ Gwen took another glance at Ben, to her perspective, she only sees a person trying to fool everyone around him that he's fine.

'We're here. Kai, open the door." Wes said, looking at Kai and saw she nodded. As they opened the door, the first thing they did was gently place Ben on a bed. Gwen came with a glass of water, helping Ben to sit on the bed before chugging the drink. "Take it easy, Ben. I'm calling your parents later." When these words came out of Max's mouth, Ben suddenly opened his eyes and stare at Max. "D-Don't! How about you guys continue the dinner without me? I'll be fine alone here, really." Ben insisted. Max and Wes looked at eachother for a moment. They do want to continue the dinner, it _has_ been a while since they last saw each other. "Fine, but Gwen and Kai are staying here." Max replied. Ben didn't want to be a burden, but there's nothing he can do to force them all to leave so he just simply nodded. "Alright then, we're going now."

The three teenagers saw the adults leave and the girls looked at Ben. "Are you feeling a little better now?" Kai sat next to him, giving him a comforting smile to ease Ben's aching feelings. He nodded before lying down, covering his face with both of hands. "I'm sorry about this." He embarrassingly said. "Ben, just rest okay?" Gwen said. Ben just nodded. After a few minutes, his mind was starting to get calm and he suddenly drifted off to sleep.

"Is he going to be okay?" Kai asked Gwen. "I really don't know. To be honest, I kept asking him how he ended up like _this_ but he just shoves me away." Gwen grabbed the book Ben gave her earlier, started to read it beside him. "What's that?" Kai read the title, but wanting to know more. Gwen understood what she meant in an instant. "A book about depression and mental issues, I guess. Ben gave it to me earlier." Gwen explained, not bothering to look at her and just focused on the book. "That's it!" Kai's left hand curled into a ball before slamming it on her right. "What do you mean?" Gwen closed her book and stared confusingly at Kai. "He has depression! He doesn't want us to know because he thinks he's a burden! But the real question is, how did he get it?" Kai stood up and looked at Ben during her explanation. Gwen just stared at her when Kai was walking towards her, grabbing her hands. "I want you to promise me that you will know what caused him to be like this." Kai said. Gwen nodded. "Sure, but it won't be easy."


	6. VI

**VI - Answers**

Gwen was alone with Ben in their hotel room. Kai and Wes left about an hour ago and she started to feel hungry. Afterall, Ben and her did skip dinner. So she decided to cook whatever Ben bought before arriving in this specific hotel. Gwen went to the messy bags and grabbed a plastic filled with food, which she wondered why half of them are missing. Gwen didn't bother to go outside and ask Max if he wanted one, she just figured he was tired so she made two for Ben and her. Gwen went to the telephone to ask for teapot with hot water and decided to clean the room. She started with Ben's clothes then placed them on a wooden wardrobe, her clothes aswell. She heard a knock and saw a teapot just outside their room. Grabbing it, she opened the noodles, pouring some water, covering it back. She heard her stomach growl and couldn't wait, so she grabbed the empty bags and placed them in the corner of the room.

"You know, you could've just asked me for help." Gwen heard this, she was surprise at first, but then remembered that Ben was here. She turned back on the bed and saw Ben sitting so he can remove his shoes. "It's my duty to clean." She said. "Sorry, I just. . . I know I'm a burden and-" Before Ben could explain further Gwen cut her off. "Ben. Can you just tell me what's wrong?" Gwen sat beside him, giving the noddles and a fork she prepared. Ben stared at her and knew that she will soon find out what he's hiding. "If I tell you, I'll ruin two relationships. Besides, you're already having a good life, I don't want to wreck it all up because I exist." Ben slowly confessed, worried that Gwen will ask further. Gwen, on the other hand, wanted to tell him that she doesn't have the perfect life. Although, she can't mess this conversation up. Afterall, she promised Kai that she will know what he's been hiding all along. "Ben, you won't ruin anything. So please, tell me." Gwen reassured him. Ben couldn't take it anymore, he started to cry. His right hand covered both of his eyes, not wanting Gwen to know even though she can clearly hear his sobbing. Other than feeling weak, he thinks himself as a gross person. He hasn't been able to focus much on his studies, he has been isolating himself, his hero life was starting to mean nothing to him, he hasn't gotten a good sleep in ages all because of what Kevin and his buddies did to him. What's worse about this is no one has noticed it, not even Gwen.

Sure, she has been asking alot but is it not obvious for her that he's probably slowly getting. . . suicidal? That he has been depressed and all she's been thinking is what's wrong? Is it not clear enough for her that she needs to pull him out of the void? Ben's answer to this is no. He already predicted that Gwen will just hate him that's why he's waiting for her to do the first move. The move of only listening to him and not just ask. His thoughts vanished, "I can't." He replied. Gwen was in the verge of giving up, but she obviously know that Ben just needs time. He just needs himself for this type of situation. Gwen held his hand by removing it from his eyes, she saw how red it became and just traced circles on his thumbs, massaging it gently. Ben began to calm down bit by bit, his head aching because of crying. Another reason why he hates himself, he never liked crying, especially infront of Gwen or anyone else. Her other hand placed the noodles beside the bed and lifted Ben's head by the chin. "It's okay, I'm here." She smiled. _No you're not, you never even noticed the problem. You're blinded by Kevin._ Ben felt something warm around his wounded body, he jumped at first but he didn't mind it after a few seconds. "I'll sleep on the couch." He quietly acknowledged, rose from the bed, leaving Gwen with the noodles. Gwen was shocked at first, she didn't expect Ben to just leave her like that, specially during a hug. Although, she didn't get angry. She understood it completely, knowing he was and always will be physically stronger than her because of their gender. She decided that she'll just ask him once this night is over.

Of course, after an hour or so, Gwen started to forget about the early situation once she started texting Kevin. She told him where they were, how she's been doing and whatever topic or conversations that will pop on her head. Ben, on the other side of the room, just stared emotionless on the carpeted ground. He wanted to stop his thoughts, but to him it felt like he was getting sucked in it as if it was a blackhole. He stopped crying, yes, he didn't touch his food, yes, he just seemed so lifeless. He hated himself for this.

* * *

"I'll just get the RV outside okay? You two should stay here." Max said before leaving the main lobby. Ben just nodded before placing down a ton of luggage. "Why did you bring so much? More than half of them was never used." Gwen said with a normal tone, but to Ben, she sounded angry. "I'm sorry, these were all yours and Max's. I only have a bag with my food and med kit." He sounded apologetic, so Gwen decided to apologize. As she was about to open her mouth, she felt arms wrapped around her eyes and gasped loudly. Ben's attention went to her but then glared afterwards. _Kevin_. Oh great, now Ben's summer just started to became worse. He grabbed all his things and went to the now-waiting-RV. "Hey, kiddo, where's Gwen?" Max smiled at him as he took half of the unused things from Ben. Ben didn't reply, but didn't ignore him aswell. He looked plain bored and pointed at the lobby, Max saw Gwen and her boyfriend, Kevin kissing each other. "Oh." Max saw Ben entering the bathroom, probably taking a shower. So he just went back to the driver's seat to wait for them.

"Hi Uncle Max!" Kevin smiled while his hands were behind Gwen. Max saw this but didn't bother to bring it up. "Hey kids, mind helping me with the bags?" He smiled, pointing at the unorganized luggage next to the dining table. Kevin simply nodded and lifted only one bag. Max frowned, the atmosphere became dead silent in an instant. At first, Max thought he would be one of those bad boy teenage kids who thinks they match the word 'cool', and because of this, Max's thoughts about him was right afterall. Minutes came by, Ben went outside the shower with a plain black shirt and grey sweat shorts with a towel wrapped aroung his neck. "Hey Bennyson." Kevin smirked, teasing Ben with his new nickname. Ben wasn't in the mood to talk so he decided to raise his right hand as if he was expecting a high five but then dropped it before walking away. Gwen observed this and notice how Ben's hand curled into a fist after placing it back to his side. "Ben, could you help me with the bags?" Max called, Ben quickly turned around, his eyes were only targeting Max, whom's eyes were seriously focused on the road. Ben silently separated the food, Max's, Gwen's and his own luggage. "I'll help you." Gwen quickly carried a heavy one, before Ben could help her, Kevin blocked his way and carried Gwen's bags for her. Jealousy was the only feeling Ben had after hearing her sweet, calm giggles. She was absolutely amazing, and Ben could only think of himself as a mistake.

He lifted all the bags, one in his back, front, two on both of his sides. He silently placed everywhere on their proper places then started to organize them. The last thing he cleaned up was his box of books, which he was actually excited to read. He sat on the dining table, his right elbow and hand was supporting him before leaning on the translucent glass with his new book being supported by his left hand. Tons of sweet laughter hollered in the entire RV, he smiled at first until a deep chortle joined it causing his curving lips to quickly vanish. Sighing, Ben noticed he wasn't interested in reading. In fact, he never wanted to read any book at all, he just simply took it as an advantage to make himself get distracted from his thoughts. He never liked doing anything. He grunted, his head kept banging hard but silently on the window. He hated this, all of it.

Desperation arrived somewhere inside his mind, he was desperate for distraction. Ben rose from the red leather foam of cushioned seat and went to grab one of the sodas he just bought and organized. Going back to the seat, he pulled the tab of the can and opened it. The hiss coming from the can was music to his ears, his heart pounding in excitement. It occured to him that he was dead thirsty for a drink all along. Quickly chugging it, a rather similar feeling like acid flowed down in his esophagus, the feeling was tenderly ecstasy. Atleast, his mood change to a happier one, for now.

". . . on. Bennyson!" A mere shout constantly echoed inside Ben's left ear, leaving his mind wild. Ben stared to his left and saw Kevin crossing his arms. Ben rose one of his eyebrows as a sign of 'what do you want?' "Quit making me look like an idiot here, I need you to tell me something." Many thoughts were about to go Ben's mind but shoved it away. "What is it?" He stared back on the window, countless trees were moving right before his own eyes. Then, it all stopped. "Kids, I'll be back. There's a certain tree I need to find." Max parked the car by the empty road's edge. His legs started to alternately move, quicker by the second and ran outside. A hand was wrapped around Ben's arm, his body was pulled by Kevin's unbelievable strength, his empty soda can dropping on the floor. Both of them went outside somewhere far away from the RV. "Where's Gwen?" The question made Ben earn a glared from Kevin but this didn't bother him, he's dealt with something much worse. "Sleeping, that's why we're here." Kevin's hands turned to fists. "I figured." Calmness controlled Ben, so intsead of asking the reason why they're here, he looked at the sky then sat on the darker side of a Pinetree.

"You're not fighting me?" Kevin's tone turned to anger. Ben simply stared at him, his eyes wondered somewhere else, shaking his head. "You really are pathetically weak." Kevin's movements went closer to Ben, but Ben didn't bother to focus his attention to him. "I know, but I'm not an _asshole_ like you, you were the one who was flirting with Julie and her friends." Ben's body was quivering, waiting for the moment Kevin will go out. Kevin snapped, his fist was ready to smack Ben's eye hard, and he did. Bruise were around Ben's eye and yet he stayed steady. Kevin started with his nose, then his lower lip. "What's the point of all of this?" He asked while being carried by the shirt. "You slept with Gwen!" He punched him once more, Ben was pushed back to the shadows of the tree then sat. "She texted me last night about having one bed in one room with _you!_ " Exclaimed Kevin. As he ran to Ben, his hand raised, prepared to punch Ben again. Ben stared at him until a pink mana circled around his fist, preventing him to get closer to Ben. "Don't you ever hurt him!" Gwen shouted. "How did you wake up? I thought you were tired?!"

"I heard Ben's soda can drop on the floor, I saw you pulling him outside. I heard everything." A tear dropped in her eye, rolling down slowly. She started to sob, crushing her fingers together so she can suffocate Kevin. "G-Gwen!" Kevin managed to say. Ben then tackled Gwen, his hand held Gwen's wrists. Letting her go after she calmed down. "Don't kill him." Gwen didn't understand why Ben was nice enough to do this. His eyes were depressed, making Gwen get lost in it. Ben heard footsteps behind him but kept Gwen distracted so he can receive the pain instead. Kevin turned to stone and punched Ben's back, causing blood to come out of his mouth. A laborious respiration came from Gwen before lifting Kevin again. She glared at him, repeating the same process she did earlier. Ben was able to hold Gwen's hands, intertwining his fingers with her's. "Don't. . . do. . this. J-just. . throw him. . away. Not torture h-him." Ben panted as he struggled with words. Gwen did as told, walking away from Ben and the last thing she heard from Kevin was his outraging scream echoing inside the forest.

Once she turned back to her badly beaten cousin, she saw him struggle to keep a steady balance so she embraced him, gently kneeling down with him. "Why didn't you tell me all of this? Did he do this to you?" Gwen allowed him to rest his head on her shoulder, feeling a nod. "And why didn't you tell me?" Gwen asked again. It took a while for Ben to respond, he started to prepare his words but time was ticking. He saw leaves were falling, birds chirping as they soar into the sky. His words were still mixed in his mind, matching the emotion he's feeling.

"Because. . . I love you. But you love him. My heart was yours, but yours was with him."

Gwen's head lifted up from this. Shocked, not knowing what to respond. Then she heard a laugh.

"You were running free with him, wildly, happily, it was perfect for you. And me? I was just. . afraid of messing it all up. I'm afraid because _I'm_ messed up."

"Don't you ever say that, you know that's not true."

"Sorry." Ben stood up, he gave her a smile as more tears formed from Gwen's eyes. "Don't you dare cry, you'll hate the side effect that comes through your head later." Ben used his fingers to wipe her tears away. He pulled her by the waist, unable to stand still because of his heart beat pumping too fast. His eyes went in a haze but still managed to walk, he slowly went back to the RV, leaving Gwen speechless.


	7. VII

**VII - Always**

It's been an hour since Kevin got dumped by Gwen, and it's also been an hour since Gwen saw Ben leave their room. She wants to see him but she wasn't so sure if he would even notice her. But nonetheless, she chose to go inside the room, leaving Max alone.

She entered it with anxiety, nervous of what Ben would say about her. She saw his arms bleeding, which was not there earlier. It finally came through her head, _he was harming himself._

"Ben, stop that!" Gwen quickly took the sharp blade from him, her fingers were slightly slashed aswell. Ben looked at her, then walked pass her so he can lock the door. "What are you planning?" The voice was trapped in the room, was trapped in his head. He went back to his bed and let the blood drip there. "Ben. . ." She stood there, not knowing what to say. She wanted to comfort him, really. Although, to her, it seems like he hates her just by. . being there. "Don't bother. I don't want you to feel bad about yourself. I'll be gone by later tonight, so just go." He reassured her. Gwen knows how stubborn Ben can be, and there's nothing she could do to make him change his mind. She wasn't prepared to lose two person that meant to her so much. She thinks that Ben doesn't know what she's been going through. "You aren't the only one struggling here!" She accidentally lost her patience, her eyes swelled and sheepishly blushed once Ben turned to her in a surprise expression. _She doesn't mean it. She doesn't mean it._ Ben constantly repeated it in head, it was the only positive thought he could think after Gwen's voice and choice of words became harsh in an instant.

"I'm sorry, I-" Gwen shakily reached for him, but Ben's mouth quivered in agony. "This is why I never told you! I love you too much and it's killing me. I am being smothered by envy, unrequited, unreciprocated affections! I lost so much because I love you! I love you so much that I hate myself for being blinded by it! You think you're life's hard?! Well congratulations, you won! Are you finally happy now?!" Ben's hands where practically acting each words he said to her, he finally got his feelings out and started to feel numb. He was surprised how strong his words were against her, it started to make him angry at himself. ". . .This is why I never told you. I'm too messed up." He said, his head was down, arms where heavy and he started to walk away.

Outside the room he transformed into XLR8 and left the RV.

"Gwen? What happened?" Max stopped driving and look at his rear mirror. "G-Grandpa. ." Gwen called. "Yes, pumpkin?" His stern eyes turned to worried ones. "I think I killed Ben inside." With that, a tear started to shed down her pale, soft cheek. She felt miserable, blaming herself for not understanding Ben's side. She just wishes things could back to normal, but she knows something _that_ good won't happen. She might not even be able to bring Ben back. The RV stopped, making Gwen look at her Grandpa Max confusingly. "Grandpa, what's wrong? Are we out of gas?" She went to sit down beside him. "No, no. We still have a lot. I want you to talk to him." Max gave her a reassuring smile, saying that it'll everything will be alright. "But Grandpa, I don't know where he is! Maybe we should just wait and-"

"No, Gwen. Only you could fix this, he will only listen to you." Max said, placing his hand on her shoulder. Gwen simply nodded, standing up. She walked to the fridge to grab one of Ben's soda and left the RV. She didn't know where to start looking so she just started with the trees, then near road, up above both she couldn't see him. She started to think smart, the forest trees were narrow so Ben couldn't possibly not hit a branch or two. She walked further from the RV and stepped on a broken branch. "Aha!" She said proudly. She followed the broken branches that lead her to.. nothing. She sighed in annoyance, and decided to look around the mess Ben made.

She didn't want him leaving like this, especially when she's the reason why. She never intended to, he was just being so stubborn. Then again, it was not necessary for her to blurt out how she felt then avoided how Ben felt. As she was getting distracted by her own thoughts, she saw a dark nearby cave. It was possible that Ben could've been there so she decided to check it up.

Unfortunately, he wasn't there. To make matters worse, she found Kevin instead. "G-Gwen! Take me back, please! I don't know where I am and I'll get lost. You love me, right? Let's just forget it." Kevin's hands rested on her shoulders, Gwen shoved it away. "Get away from me." She glared. Kevin's expression was surprised at first, then he used the cave's rocks to transform him. Gwen backing away slowly, she used her mana. "I should've just finished you earlier." She said. "You're the one who's gonna die." Kevin ran towards her, avoiding all her energy blasts. He was able to lift her up, pushing her to a tree. A grunt came from her mouth making Kevin laugh. "Let's just get this over with."

Before Kevin could reach for her, Ben as XLR8 was able to lift her up and place her somewhere far away from Kevin. "Stay here." XLR8 said, running back to Kevin. He turned to Echo Echo then Ultimate Echo Echo. His vibration was able to push Kevin deeper into the cave, rocks falling to cover the exit. Ultimate Echo Echo turned back to Ben, falling hard to the ground. At that point, he just wanted to end his life. He sees himself as a gross, perverted, incest lover. He knows he doesn't deserve to live, so he just let himself blackout here.

* * *

It was almost midnight inside the RV. Ben was still passed out, shirtless as Gwen cleaned his injuries. "G-Gwen. . ." She heard. "Ah! Yes?" She quickly responded. Her perfect posture was gone as she leaned closer to Ben. _He was dreaming?_ Gwen's heart warmed up, smiling at how touching Ben is. "Don't.. take.. her. She..d-didn't do anything.. hurt me.. instead." Gwen quietly gasped, covering her mouth. _Oh, Ben_. She couldn't resist it anymore, she struggled to lift him up but she did it. Giving him a tight, warm embrace, he began to wake up. "O-Ow!" He exclaimed, startling Gwen. "Oh, sorry." He said sheepishly. He stared at her, tears falling down on his chest. _Did I hurt her that much?_ "I-I'm sorry?" He heard his own voice come out, sounding like a question, he mentally smacked himself for that. "Don't ever tell Kevin or his friends to hurt you ever again!" She grabbed him by the shoulders, crying more. Ben just allowed this, letting her be. "I'm sorry, I'm a disaster without you. I'll die if I lose you." He gave her a genuine smile after lifting her head by the chin.

Ben leaned in, Gwen quickly sat on his lap and the gap between them vanished. It was passionate, Gwen ran her fingers on Ben's hair, playing with it. Ben on the other hand, forgot the physical pain he has and placed his arms around her back, forming circles to pleasure her. She moaned, causing a shiver down his spine. Gwen's legs wrapped were wrapped around his waist to pull him closer. Ben did not even have the need to ask for an entrance, she simply opened it making Ben smile. That is, until she broke the kiss. "I-I was going for a hug but that's fine. You taste good." He teased, making her laugh. Her hands landed on his shoulder, and his arms are still around her. "I'm going to kiss every scar Kevin did to you." She leaned in his ear, causing him to blush madly. Gwen giggled at this, causing Ben to roll his eyes before he kissed her passionately again. "And I'm _always_ ready for your sweet small kisses. I love you." He gave her a small peck on the cheek. "I love you too." Gwen said, pushing him on his bed.

End


End file.
